7 Things you should never tell people about your relationship

It’s totally natural for you to spill your guts to your girlfriends about what’s going on in your relationship — hell, it’s practically a right of passage at brunch or book club — but that doesn’t mean you should share everything.

There are a few things that relationship experts deem worthy of staying between you and your S.O. Find out what they are, and no matter how much you want to bond with your BFFs, keep your mouth shut.

1. When you’re going through a sex slump.

Let’s set the scene: You and your guy haven’t had sex in a few months. You’re not sure why, so in a fit of frustration you tell your coupled-up friend. Her response? “Oh, don’t worry, we haven’t either. It’s been four months.”

While that may give you a huge sigh of relief, Irina Firstein, a couples therapist in New York City, says it’s not very helpful. “This kind of comment normalizes a problem that needs to be addressed,” she explains. “Your friend is trying to help, but she’s probably not because she’s untrained in sex therapy and can’t usually give constructive feedback.”

Plus, whether she admits it or not, Firstein says it’s likely she’s lying. “Your sex life is actually really private, and many people tend to not be completely honest about theirs in an effort to relate to the person they’re having the conversation with,” she explains. In the end, her comments can make you feel worse (or better) about your problems, which is ultimately not helpful.

So, if you’re having problems in the bedroom, first try bringing it up with your partner. If you can’t get to the root of the issue together though, consider talking with a sex therapist who can not only help you figure out why there’s a lack of intimacy but also give you ideas to spice things up in the bedroom.

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