7 Things you should never tell people about your relationship

4. When one of you cheats.

Whether it was an emotional or physical affair (yes, there’s a difference and yes, they’re both considered infidelity), any acts that had you or your partner straying outside your relationship need to be kept quiet, says Firstein.

It’s common to want to vent to someone else — say, your mom or your best friend — but Firstein says that can irreparably damage their opinion of your partner. And while that may be NBD if the two of you decide to separate, if you want to make a comeback, it’ll be that much harder.

“Because others know about it, it will linger on and you’ll have to deal with their feelings and judgment for however long they decide,” says Firstein. Think about it: If your mom knows, then every time you have a small fight with your guy and need to vent, she’ll always be able to bring it back to the affair, even if it has nothing to do with that. (Plus, just imagine the daggers of hatred shooting from her eyes at every family get-together from there on out. Awk-ward.) Instead, talk to an individual or couple’s therapist about the affair whenever you need to — they create a safe space for you to get your emotions out without a side of judgment.