A man whose wife divorced him for leaving dirty glasses on the sink and leaving his clothes lying around the house has said she made the right decision.
The author, identified as Matthew Fray, said when his wife left with their only son after 12 years of being together, he was hurt, bitter and felt she was being unreasonable.
However, he has now realized that she felt disrespected and mistreated by his actions which he didn’t think was a big deal at the time.
Fray who disclosed that his wife is now seeing someone else, said she made the right choice by leaving him.
He wrote on Dailymail:
“Just after my 34th birthday, my wife left me, taking our four-year-old son with her. I was utterly devastated. I cried and shouted and blamed her for ruining my life.
“When she started seeing someone new, I was physically sick at the thought of this man playing happy families with her and my boy.
“And yet today, nine years on, I believe she made a wise choice. Given her experience of our 12 years together, she did the right thing by leaving me. When someone feels mistreated and unloved, it’s sensible and healthy for them to consider whether choosing that every day forever is the right thing to do.
“So what terrible thing did I do exactly? How did I mistreat my poor wife? Well… I often left used drinking glasses by the sink. Occasionally there were plates, too, deposited on the counter just inches from the dishwasher. Sometimes I also failed to put my clothes away and instead left them draped on furniture or even on the floor. That’s what made her leave me.
“Of course, when you put it that way, it sounds hugely unreasonable. I can hear you now: she walked away because you left dishes by the sink? Wow, she needs to get her priorities in order.
“And that’s what I thought, too, while I was married to her. I thought she should recognise how petty and meaningless it was in the grand scheme of life, and I repeated that train of thought for the better part of 12 years, waiting for her finally to agree with me. But she never did.
“The thing is, the glass by the sink did matter to my wife — she hated it sitting there — but it wasn’t just about the glass. It wasn’t about dishes left for her to sort, or laundry on the floor. My wife wasn’t some insufferable nag who had to have her way all the time.
“It was about what these things said to her. And what they said was: I would always choose my feelings and preferences over hers. That she was married to someone who did not respect or appreciate her.
“That while she rarely made a decision without thinking about how it might affect me or our son, I barely ever considered how my actions affected her. That not taking four seconds to put my glass in the dishwasher was more important to me than she was.
“Of course, at the time I didn’t know any of this. I thought I was a good man. I am a good man — but the fact is, good men can be terrible at marriage and frequently are. That’s a harsh lesson but it’s one I firmly believe most — all? — men need to hear.”
