“I dated her for 8 years, never had sex with her, after Her MSc, she dumped me”

Heard this and almost cried my eyes off. Each time I get to hear some ladies say, “men are scum”, I seldom keep quiet because I have loads of stories and experiences which when shared will not only silence them but may change their mentality about the “men are scum phrase.”

So, a friend visited my house days back, whilst gisting, he shared a story about a bosom friend of his, who almost committed suicide over the girl he dated. We will use Mr. I as the boyfriend and Ms. I as the girlfriend. I will try as much as possible to cut the long story short.

According to him, Mr. I had been dating Ms. I since 2008, he was in the university then, 200 level to be precise, whilst she was about finishing secondary school. And like many young lovers, everything was good and going fine except the usual “childish mentality” from both parties of course.

Things kept blossoming, everything soft and nice. She got into the university, a private Nigerian university, fortunately for Mr. I, it wasn’t one of those universities where phones weren’t allowed, so they kept communicating and in fact, since the relationship gradually started maturing, their love kept shinning bright like a diamond.. So bright that other male chyker’s couldn’t approach Ms. I because almost everyone in campus knew she was “bae-gaged.” Yes, she was that proud of her bae then.

Mr. I never missed the opportunity of leaving his university to visit her every weekend, notwithstanding the distance.. Oh, I forgot to tell you, he schooled in far away East, whilst she schooled in the West. And the journey from his university to hers took him 7-8 hours by road and of course, he always used road except extreme cases where he decided to use flight.

Not only did he risk his life plying bad roads every weekend just to see bae, he also made sure he got stuffs for her, food stuffs and sometimes money (He took it upon himself to bring provisions and money two weekends out of four, monthly). Indeed, bae was balling, no wonder she was so bae-gaged!

And whenever they were on break, back to their respective homes (fortunately they both lived in Lagos), he was with her almost every other day. In fact, both parents knew they were dating. Yes, and they both approved of it. Indeed, Mr. I was happy, he had the acceptance of bae’s family members and of course, the heart of bae (So he thought).

A couple of times, when bae resumed a new semester and Mr. I was still home, boss-man will take it upon himself to fuel his car and drive his woman to her uni, not only that, sometimes took provisions to bae’s siblings’ schools too. Mr. I was in love, so he just wanted to make her family members love him more.. Every guy who has truly loved, will know this feeling..

“Mans” was usually broke in school because of bae, you know, bae schooled in a private university and lifestyle was more expensive there. Of course, to please bae and make her family know he was man enough, Mr. I usually soaked garri in his hostel whilst he sent the food stuffs given to him by his parents to his girl.. Love nwantiti right?

Fast forward to his graduation, he got a job which wasn’t well-paying like that, but always made sure 50% of his salary went to bae’s account. Yes a whole 50%.. (It was at this point I literally started tearing up. A tear dropped from my eye and I am certain my friend saw this. If only he knew that I was tearing up because I couldn’t really fathom how mans was so in love that he forgot there is a difference between a girlfriend and a wife). Worst still is, he hadn’t even engaged her yet! Oh my gosh!!!!

Well, love was still there (so he thought). All through the years of dating, spending, killing himself to please she and her family, he never for once had any sexual relation with her. Never for once, because she claimed to be a virgin. The best he ever got was a kiss.. A kiss bruh!

Fast forward to when she graduated from university, Mr. I threw a big party for her. Hosted over 30 people (friends and family). Spent close to N650K on the bash (Unbeknownst to his siblings, he borrowed a huge sum of money from his friends so as to make the party a huge success)… And a huge one it was (At this point I started thinking, If only he had engaged her at the bash he threw for her, maybe things would have turned out differently)… Well, who knows, right?

Months after she graduated, he lost favour from his employers, so he was sacked. Things dwindled from his end so his usual 50% to his bae, stopped. 3 months after he lost his job, bae informed him she was going to study abroad, going for her masters’ program in Russia. (Funny thing is, she never told him when she even applied nor got accepted). Well, she apologised, he forgave and they were still chilling.

Weeks later, it was time for her to travel, he dropped her off at the airport, they did the usual (kissed and bid themselves goodbyes right in front of her fam.. Yes, they were that close you know!).

Chatting, skyping, doing all sort of things, all these lasted for 3 to 4 months of her stay in Russia. Things became bad afterwards, communication not only dwindled but it dissolved, “mans” was no longer getting attention, “mans” was confused yet still going to bae’s house to help out in one or two errands for fam.

To cut the long story short….. Few weeks before she was done with her programme, she sent a text, which read, “We can’t be together anymore, I am sorry.” …. That was all, 8 years and that’s all she sent. No explanation as to why she wanted to call quits. (Cold right?)

Mr. I lost it at this point, became severely depressed, in fact, he was almost going insane. He had to be on drugs. Severally tried suicide but luckily for him, his younger brother came to the rescue. He was eventually admitted in Lagoon for 5 weeks.

This was the period bae came back. Bad thing is, she didn’t even bother informing him she was coming back and worst thing is, when she eventually heard he was hospitalised, she didn’t step her foot in Lagoon hospital.. A cruel world right?

Right as we speak, Mr. I has been in and out of hospital, going through one or two crisis. He has lost touch of reality and become a shadow of himself, whereas Ms. I hasn’t bothered seeing him since she came back to Nigeria and in fact, is about to be wed in April 2018.

Love is a beautiful thing only and when it is true and mutual so children of the world, love with your heart, but use your brain!

PS: This is a true life story from a friend to be shared on TheInfo.NG.