Airing his thoughts on how women spouses should be treated in every matrimonial home, this Facebook user, Anthony Igbinosun, penned down an interesting piece detailing how himself and his wife equally belong to the kitchen, living room and the other room.
According to him,
“I consider myself to be a very conservative person. Some people even call me old-fashioned. I grew up believing that a woman should be the one cooking, taking care of the kids, etc. However I didn’t have this perception because I considered women inferior. I just felt that was the right thing, maybe based on the traditional values inherent in the African society. I also believed that the man should be the main- if not only- contributor of money in the family. That was years ago.
Today, as a married man, my views have completely changed. One weekend, my wife was doing house chores while I was on my laptop working on my novel, trying to meet a deadline. Although I was focused on my work, at the back of my mind I noticed that the sound of plates changed to the sound of a broom and then the sound of clothes being washed. Immediately, I was alarmed. I thought, ‘Wait, is she doing all that work alone?! And she never called for assistance?!’ Immediately, I left what I was doing and told her to stop, take a rest and tell me what was left to do so that I could do it.
When I was done, I realised that my mentality had changed. You see, love is always greater than a sense of ‘duty’. You don’t need to force a real man to share the responsibilities of house chores like washing, cleaning, taking care of the baby, cooking, etc. Any man who truly loves his wife will not be able to bear the thought of leaving her to bear the burden alone. Let us cast aside the mentality of ‘this is a woman’s duty, that is a man’s duty’. Even the Bible supports a man washing plates (2 Kings 21:13) 🙂 and a woman providing financially for the family (Prov 31:11-23).
What is most important is this: we want to achieve something and we work together to achieve it. If she earns more than I do, then she can contribute more to the family financial goals than I do. If she is working outside while I work from home or return earlier from work, why can’t I be the one taking care of the baby, feeding and cleaning his/her ‘bum bum’ after pooing? If you think these things make you less of a man, then you were never a man in the first place. There is nothing like ‘duties of a man’ and ‘duties of a woman’. However, for the sake of effectiveness, division of labour can be implemented but not because of ‘duty’. The man can end up taking cooking responsibilities and the woman takes the work of car-washing. Doesn’t matter!
On another day, my lovely wife cooked a delicious meal of very peppery Oha soup littered with pomo, fish, meat, etc etc, just the way I love it. I told her, ‘Thank you so much for going to the market and cooking this food. Honestly, I’m grateful.’ She looked at me, surprised and said ‘Why are you thanking me for such a thing? It’s my duty.’ Immediately, I told her it’s not her duty to cook but her choice and that’s why I was very thankful.
The first time I tried washing her clothes we almost had a serious disagreement. She kept saying ‘It’s not right, it’s not right. You shouldn’t wash my clothes.’ Then I threatened to also restrict her from touching mine. At that point we were able to reach an agreement.
What’s the point of this message? My wife and I equally belong to the kitchen, to the living room and…well, to the other room 😀 . God bless you!”
Simply because a woman cooks and wash dirty clothes and tidy the home does that make her a slave?biko we should stop pondering on things more than the way they should be handled. what should our great grand parents do then in their own days they do eventually everything and yet they survived.. You go to villages inspite of all the hard works these old people have done in their prime they are still very strong.I beg if you can’t cook for your husband collect housemaid na and after few months share your stories that touches the heart online.
There’s nothing wrong if a.man helps the wife to do cooking, washing, etc during his less busy schedules. It infuse a kind of love in the relationship.
Hip Pop General, correction, it is our matter oh, this is “our” president family matter and not Hip pop General matter, we are involved, it’s a national matter that must be dealt with nationally
U r a good husband material. Don’t mind some sugarcane boys
Some people self no get senses dem go see bad thing still dey support . Women are to be respected and cherish some men go just dey talk like mumu watin consign buhari family matter for here now
My dear sorry to dissapoint u,I already have a home,married legally nd a proud mother of 2 boys.so pack well,no woman wey no go marry except u dnt want to OK.
Stop seeing it as if ure di only one it was ordained 4
Dats how u insult ur wife & parents too… U dat ur a somebody ???????????
Now I see y!!! Culture & tradition… I pray u don’t marry a man dat will treat u as culture & traditions but as God pleases
Wat is Der if ur husband helps u!!!!!!!
Lazy men!!!!!
God never said a woman’s place is the kitchen, or bedroom nor other room… God described a virtuous woman in his own marvelous way… proverbs chapter 31 verses 10-31… if you read further down from 13-24 he talks about her been a hard working woman involved in business. .. so where did God say it ends in the kitchen, bedroom or other rooms, please women be wise and dont limit yourself only to the 3 departments of PMB…
God never said a woman’s place is the kitchen, or bedroom nor other room… God described a virtuous woman in his own marvelous way… proverbs chapter 31 verses 10-31… if you read further down from 13-24 he talks about her been a hard working woman involved in business. .. so where did God say it ends in the kitchen, bedroom or other rooms, please women be wise and dont limit yourself only to the 3 departments of PMB…