Corn Flakes

John Harvey Kellogg, the gloriously bearded cereal guru, was anti sex/masturbation/your private parts doing anything fun, so he created Corn Flakes.

He thought the bland and sugarless taste would repress people’s nasty urges for a post-breakfast bang.

There is a serious lack of solid evidence of whether Kellogg was successful, but considering that Corn Flakes are largely consumed by teething babies and toothless eldery folks, he may have gotten his wish.

Microwave Popcorn

Microwave popcorn bags contain something called perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOAs) which is a really long name for a chemical that kills your sex drive, is bad for your prostate, and increases your chances of testicular cancer.

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