3. A main phone…usually an iPhone.

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Always the latest iPhone. I’ll explain the reason in coming numbers.

4. A supporting phone…Usually a Samsung Galaxy Mobile.

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Also always the latest model. I swear there’s a reason why.

5. Dark shades.

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Aviators or Ray Bans. These are to protect your eye movements. You can be talking to one girl and impregnating scoping like 4 others.

6. A Plush Ride…Toyota Camry and Above.

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Now, Lagos Big Boys can just show off their car keys. That’s not enough for a Yoruba Demon. You have to have the actual car. Girls have to see you in that car. How else will you convince them that you can take care of them?

7. A main chic…an actual main girlfriend.

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The girl you show to the world. This is the person whose number you store on the iPhone. The one you love and plan to marry. Almost always an Igbo* girl. She can match you heartlessness for heartlessness.

*Igbo: (adj) Igbo, as used here, does not refer to the tribe. The Term ‘Igbo’ describes a heartless – sometimes cheating – person. Usually female.

8. Like 23 Side Chics.

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You populate the Samsung Galaxy contact list with these ones. They’re the ones you spend all your money on. But you never, EVER get photographed with them. That never ends well.

9. A sincere smile.

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This is how you melt all girls’ hearts. When you smile, panties should drop, hearts should open, intestines should sing!

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